Your Painful Memories, Are They Serving You?

“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards” ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Consider this, any thought that you think, if you keep thinking it like more than two seconds or so, it is going to lead to another similar or related thought and then similar thought and then another until it gathers momentum and then you find proof of it in the physical reality.

Let us say someone was unfair or hurt you in the past. Memories are stored as connections of neurons in a certain part of the brain. Now, when you are remembering any hurtful or strong negative emotions from your past, you are only strengthening that part of your brain. If not guarded, that memory will slowly gain momentum by introducing another similar thought. Before you know it, you will be planning for revenge, to “get even” with that person, and a vengeful act is not far now. But we have to remember, revenge is a two-edged sword.

Revenge seems sweet at the moment because of the gratification we get, but it’s a low vibe act, and it will only attract a low vibe experience for us. Like attracts like, the law applies to everyone. Birds of a feather flock together, right?

When you entertain a negative thought or emotion, you are allowing yourself to be in negative energy and vibration. They say “he who is planning for destruction, digs his own grave”.

“It doesn’t take a lot of strength to hang on, it takes a lot of strength to let go.”- J C Watts Jr.

Therefore be aware of your thoughts. Good thoughts lead to good emotions which leads to good actions. Choose more good thoughts for you will find proof of them in physical reality.

You see, nothing has any meaning in itself, it is we humans that give meaning to things and experiences. Nothing is wrong or right, we give meaning and value to things based on our beliefs and perceptions and we do so in order to suit our needs at the time. The best way to overcome any suffering whether past or present is to assign meaning to it. People and situations come into our lives, some in our favour, some against our interests. But every experience serves its purpose to make us the person that we have become. Relish only the happy memories and learn from the hard ones.

I remember the year 2009 sadly because it was the year that we lost both our parents, six months apart, from different diseases. I am the only son of five siblings and also the youngest. Being a male, the responsibility of the house fell on me, not financially, but more socially, emotionally and politically. I was still in the military, and I had to take frequent leave when our parent’s health deteriorated. Till today I am very grateful for the military ethos. When people see you genuinely suffer, almost everyone understands and extend their support. I had tremendous support from the Air Force, especially my Section Commander.

As siblings, we stayed together, we stayed strong and we grew closer because of the suffering. To date, we are a close-knit family and we relish the good times we had with our parents and also the lessons that they have taught us. Personally, I found meaning in the suffering. Looking back now, it was the period that made me stronger and wiser.

Personally I have observed, that the past is like frozen like hard rock, it cannot be changed. The future is like air – totally blank and unknown. The present is like water, we can feel and touch and make changes as necessary in order to fulfil our desires and make our dreams come true.

I feel the relevance of the past is like 1%, for lessons learned minus the strong emotions. The future is like 9 % importance (our goals and plans). The present is like 90%, it is where our main focus should be because we can create whatever we want in a clean slate that we get every time we wake up, and every moment thereafter!

Memory without emotion is wisdom. – Dr Joe Dispenza.

The future holds more value than the past because we can create our future by having goals and plans and actions in the present.

We need to stop remembering old hurts. It only reinforces the same experience and expectations.

Forgiveness is not always easy.
At times, it feels more painful
than the wound we suffered,
to forgive the one that inflicted it.
And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.
– Marianne Williamson